on eating lots of dessert
I eat dessert after basically every meal. That's so bad.
Most of the food I eat is clean. I’ve read the research. I’ve lived the "elite athlete" lifestyle. I’ve tracked my glucose, sleep, and recovery. But god damnit, the need for something sweet after meals, is something I can't seem to shake. And it pisses me off more than you'd think. Or maybe you know me and can understand my level of frustration.
I’m just consistently eating more bad, empty sugar than I want to. It's predictable, unconscious, and unstoppable. It's gotten to the point where it's that’s no longer a treat, but like a possessed zombie cannibal eating a person. My brain is now wired to crave something sweet without checking in. Doesn't matter how big my meal is or what meal it is.
This isn’t about perfection but living up to a certain standard. This is the same reflex to wake up and check social media, or check your phone as soon as it dings. I’m not trying to live a joyless, sugarless existence. I think sugar is way better for you than most. But I do want to slay the dragon.
That's why I'm writing this. I’ve lost control, and I demand it back from myself. The goal isn’t to never have something sweet. The goal is to feel like I’m choosing it.